“When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord God.
Ezekiel 16:8, The Bible
Now, more than ever, there are so many temptations around us: co-workers with whom we work closely, internet pornography that can be accessed anywhere at any time, old flames, prostitution…the ways that we can be unfaithful are as limitless as our imaginations – and indeed, that is where infidelity begins.
In a recent Dearest Daily post, I wrote to a Loving Husband. At the end of the post, I urged this loving husband not to be tempted. Temptation often begins in our minds. A seemingly innocent daydream about someone can turn into a disasterous first step towards adultery. It is at this very moment that we must make a decision:
walk away from the temptation,
pretend that it is not a temptation, or
succomb to the temptation.
You can give in to the temptation. Run into the arms of the other person. Try to hide your emotions from your spouse, your co-workers, and your friends. You can lie to everyone, if you have the energy for all of that.
You could also pretend – this is also known as denial – that you are not tempted and continue daydreaming about the other person. You can even have lunch with them, pretending all the while that you don’t wish for more. You can send them “innocent” texts, which you promptly delete so that your husband or wife doesn’t think anything. That takes a lot of energy too. Eventually, you’ll stop fighting the temptation and give in.
OR…you can walk away.
Do not allow the temptation any more room in your life. Walk away. Cut ties with the person you have had these thoughts about. It does not matter who they are – you need to remove them from your life, completely.
There is also one other thing you need to do. Talk to your spouse. Maybe you haven’t entered into an affair yet – that is good! Now is the time to set boundaries. Tell your spouse that you want to reaffirm your commitment to him/her. Write down some if/then scenarios together to define what an affair is and how you will both work to avoid them. Keep the lines of communication open.
You made a promise to your spouse. You need to keep that promise. Pray about it. Ask God for His wisdom and guidance through this tough time.